Medicine Horse

Medicine Horse

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Review of Big Dub Festival 2012 at Four Quarters Farm, PA

I wrote this right after getting back from Big Dub back in August, but was unable to properly post it through my Evolver mirror of this blog while their blogs are in limbo.  

Event: Big Dub Festival 2012
Dates: August 9-12
Location: Four Quarters Farm, Artemas, PA

What. An. Event.

Having had a few days to decompress and mull over my experiences, I wanted to share my perspectives about my experience as a guest speaker on behalf of Evolver DC, as well as a participant.

I came to Big Dub 2012 as a first-timer, both to the festival itself and to festivals like it. While I’m a multi-year member of the Burning Man community and have been to numerous Burns in the Mid-Atlantic, I had no experience with music festivals prior to my arrival at Four Quarters Farm on Friday afternoon.

Having landed my tent and stuff with some friend’s of my host, Vikas, and having taken care of some minor logistical issues for Evolver, the first order of business was to take in a workshop by Asher - a fellow trained shaman - who delivered a great presentation on energy work, chakras, stone reading and shamanism in the Farm’s labyrinth. I was impressed by the turnout that he received, and was struck by both the level of interest and the metaphysical knowledge of the other attendees. It started my experience at Big Dub off on a great note, and set the stage for the many surprises and experiences that awaited.

That first night I spent dancing at the main stage, loving the dubstep, electro and hard house that was being spun. I also got a chance to spin fire with another fire performer and fellow Burner - Andrij. I was in a great state of mind and energy and really connecting with the experience on all levels. Then after a brief lull to recharge in the stone circle, I connected with two other spiritually tapped in women who I spent the rest of the evening with dancing and flowing with energetically down at the second stage. I wrapped my evening up that night around the fire at the sweat lodge, discussing energy, spirituality, shamanism and the night’s experiences with a group of diverse and amazing people who had all been drawn to the grounding energy of the fire.

I woke up the next day amped for my two presentations for Evolver DC - the first on Spirituality and Dance, and the second on Flow Art and Transcendental Connectivity. There was a powerful and open discussion that opened up in the first workshop about dance, spirituality, letting the music move you and celebrating spirituality with the body on the dance floor. I was excited to talk about the art of surrender as a dancer and as a spiritual practitioner - how to let the energy in the music and the moment move you in the body and the soul, and how to allow that opening and surrender create powerful opportunities for spiritual exploration and metaphysical practice. It was great to share the practices of Shamans, Sufis, Tantrics and others that rely so heavily on dance to experience a connection with something much more powerful than ourselves, and to have such a receptive and plugged in audience. That discussion on movement and connectivity continued into the workshop on Flow Art, and I was very grateful to be able to join forces with Andrij in delivering a presentation that combined philosophy, theory and practice into a powerful learning experience for the attendees (who got to learn how to spin contact staff while learning about to connect spiritually while spinning).
I came into this event with as few expectations as possible, and left moved and humbled at the people and experiences that I had connected with. Its amazing to see how much energy we raised together over the past weekend, and it was encouraging to meet so many other people at Big Dub who are plugging into deeper possibilities both during event and after they leave. I’m so grateful to Big Dub’s organizers for having me, Vikas and Evolver DC for inviting me and organizing my presentations, and the land at people at Four Quarters Farm for their presence and support in hosting it.

Until next year,

Andrew Killilea

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Dying the Thousandth Death

Death - letting go. Participating in an end, sometimes The End.

What does it mean to die your thousandth death?

Perhaps even one thousand in a single lifetime. I feel as though I have just left my own four digit death scene, leaving behind a someone whom I no longer could be - becoming as I am, continuing to Be by letting go of what no longer Could Be.

Dying, in my experience, comes in many forms. I have found that death is a process of letting go and embracing what is. Most particularly poignantly felt when the future is a complete unknown and the present feels both painful and impossible to resolve.

Deaths occur with the distance of friends, the alienation of family, the transitions from old homes to new, old jobs to new ones, school to school, school to career - many thousands of endings occur without even touching on its most perfect sublime expression - biological Death: the irrevocable loss of family, loved ones and friends that we all must confront prior to our own expiration.

I have found in my experience that it is not so much Death that is painful, it is the holding on - the resistance - that hurts most. Struggling against a tidal wave of inevitability, we fight tooth and nail to retain every single last possibility that preceded Death, regardless of cost or consequence.

Grieving is something that we should be more adept at than any other human experience, and yet I have always felt it as an agony almost beyond imagining prior to the great final act of Acceptance. The mercy of Letting Go that releases neuro-chemicals, emotional blockages, psychological damage and petty little self-delusions that perpetuated a falseness of Being for what feels like (in the thick of it) an eternity. All boiling over to attain Release - release and transition/transformation into a new state, born again, clean and fresh and ready to rise to a new slate of challenges.

Sometimes almost playfully.

I have grieved many things in life - many losses. The death of both of my parents, of relationships that seemed as though they were destined to last forever, friendships, connections, careers, destinies, beliefs, homes - everything imaginable, really.

And yet ever act of grieving seems as hard as the first, and the much needed release when the end of the process comes an almost unexpected (and confusingly deserved) mercy.

And this is why I take note of my thousandth death, and honor it - even when I would never be able to truly know it from my ten thousandth, or millionth. Because it is a mercy, and a blessing, and a gift. And for it I am grateful.

- Three Feather

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Life as a Sacred Gift

The Sacred on this world stems from the Power, the Medicine, of Nature. Nature's Power flows from Life. Life is the Sacred Dance that the flame, the spark of Consciousness, flickers for.

What makes Life sacred? Life not just in the sense of lifeforms - living entities - living energies, but the capacity for the experience of a life, of a lifetime. Life in the broadest, systematic sense. Capital 'L' Life as Gaia - the total interconnected biotic mass of any discreet place (planet, galaxy, universe, Reality).

Our capacities in this realm of existence, on this planet, stem from being alive - being pieces of Life - being part of a web formed by Nature: a web upon which we rely for every breath, every drink, every meal.

Without Life - there is no air to breathe, no food, no heart to feel beating in our chests. This experience of Being as we understand WOULD NOT BE.

"Living", or "Being Alive", offers an entity a capacity for engagement with Being in a way that consciously links the metaphysical with the physical. Both physics are part of the weave of the IS - Spirit, God, Reality, the Totality, the Oneness - but Life is the energetic state that allows us as entities to share both experiences simultaneously. It is a unique state - one filled with Power and the opportunity for Transformation.

Respect for Life is, in such a case, not merely a catch phrase or simply a platitude: it is a perspective that is aware of the beauty of the Power granted by Life, and in so doing informs our intention and actions towards it. The more we recognize this Power, the more we Respect, the more we strive to honor and preserve Life in the forms that it presents itself to us.

Love and Compassion towards Life, and towards the ability to sustain it where it is found (such as on this planet), are our way of completing the cycle that starts with awareness of that Power. For such Power is truly a gift, and possibly the greatest one we receive in our manifested existences as discreet entities. With that in mind, begin to account for your own perspectives (and actions) towards Life. Do you Respect the gift that is given - to you and to us all - and act with rightful reciprocity?

Remember: that which you give comes back to you - and giving the gifts of Love and Compassion to Life is a gift that you truly offer to yourself, as one of the integral parts of the Web of Life. How can it not return any less than sevenfold?